


Always

by Center_of_the_Galaxy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 14x17 spoilers, Angst, Gen, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Near Death Experiences, Worried Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-15 23:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21026162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Center_of_the_Galaxy/pseuds/Center_of_the_Galaxy
Summary: One word runs through Dean's mind--No.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> Posted to Tumblr first. Send me requests there. I'm centerofthegalaxywrites.

There’s something that always scares him whenever he sees his brother go down. There’s that primal fear that this time is the time that Sam won’t get up, that this time his brother will go somewhere where he can’t follow. This time, trying to get Sam to count, trying to get his brother to focus on his voice--on his face--Dean wonders how many more times his heart can take this before it just stops all together, especially when his mind is short circuiting on just one single thought--

No. 

No, this can’t be how it ends. No, he can’t lose Sam. No, he won’t watch his brother bleed out before him. 

No.

It’s like Cold Oak all over again. That sheer, overwhelming feeling that he’s helpless to do anything, powerless to keep the one thing that’s ever mattered safe, watching life slowly bleed out of the one thing that he can't live without. 

“I’ve got you, Sammy.” 

How many times has he said that? And how many times had it proved not to be true? Because try as he might, there was no foolproof way for Dean to protect Sam. This life they lead, it’s dangerous and they both know the risks, and it’s always been acceptable to Dean, but he’s never accepted that life for Sam.

Sam was supposed to get out and be normal. Be a lawyer somewhere and make good money. Bail Dean out of jail and tease him. Maybe Dean would join him one day on that slice of the American Dream, white picket fence, 2.5 kids and beautiful wife included. 

Sam was never supposed to--

“Hey, Sammy, do you remember when you were six and you thought Bobby’s yard was an amusement park?” 

\--die. He can’t die. Sam can’t die again. And yeah, that’s the fucked up thing, because Sam has died, numerous times. To be fair, Dean’s died his fair share too, but that’s different, though he regrets leaving Sam alone to face the cruel world. 

“You got so excited. You thought all the cars would work, like bumper cars?” His voice cracks, a rogue tear escaping, rolling down his cheek. 

He always rambles when he’s panicked, as if he can talk away the problem. He’s done that ever since Sam was little. Dean’s told stories over the flu, whispered away runny noses and screamed at near-death experiences. But now, watching the blood pour out of Sam’s skull like a twisted watercolor, Dean knows there’s no words that can make this go away.

“Sam! Sammy, eyes on me, I’ve got you. Always, little brother. Always!” 

He just hopes that always doesn’t end with today. 


End file.
